Symmetrical descents: Mechanisms of self-annulment and disconfirmation in pursuit of relational preservation

Descensos simétricos: Mecanismos de anulación del self y desconfirmación en pos de la conservación relacional

Human communication theory has identified dysfunctional interaction patterns, such as the symmetrical escalation, characterized by an increase in hostility in a reciprocal and competitive attempt to outdo the other in the conversation. This article introduces a new concept: symmetrical descents. This pattern is distinguished by the systematic avoidance of conflict, a growing emotional disconnection, and a decrease in relational vitality, leading to the mutual suppression of individualities to preserve the relationship. While in escalation, both partners seek to position themselves hierarchically above the other through disqualifications, generating an intense and negative emotional climate, in descent, both avoid confrontation, placing themselves in lower positions through disconfirming and self-nullifying exchanges, in a cold and distant emotional context. Events of energies contrary to the descending ones can interrupt the pattern, creating conditions for systemic change, either leading to dissolution or restructuring. In couples therapy for symmetrical descent, the focus is on addressing the emotional needs of both partners, adapting to their attachment orientations. On a relational level, it is crucial to identify and communicate the pattern, and to build a secure base to foster open, complementary, and flexible communication.